Missing you this Christmas

Embrace the awkward middle ground between despair & distraction (plus, a Christmas craft!).

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*Look closely.* This pretty snowflake ornament contains hand-written memories. It's elegant, and super easy to make, too!

“The holidays are times spent with our loved ones.” This has been imprinted on our psyche from a young age [...] But since holidays are for being with those we love the most, how on earth can anyone be expected to cope with them when a loved one has died? [...] How can we celebrate togetherness when there is none? (Grief.com)

"How can we celebrate togetherness when there is none?"

I love how the above article describes the tension that holidays bring up for those who are grieving. Special days tend to highlight the fact that no, I'm not feeling "merry" because everyone's not here.

And so as those holidays approach, it can be tempting to either sink into paralyzing despair or completely avoid grief by staying busy and distracted.

Which one do you tend towards?

What if you try pressing into an awkward middle ground between despair and distraction?

One great way to do that is to take intentional time to remember your lost loved one.

  • It helps stave away despair because it makes room for your loved one to be included in the festivities.

  • It wards off distraction because it's intentional. If you're scared of being overwhelmed by feelings, you can set a timer. Work on this project for 30 minutes. Then you can get up and be done - or set your timer for 30 more minutes when you can't put it down!

So let's get crafting!

When you're finished, hang this treasured ornament on your tree, in a wreath, or anywhere else you, your family, and guests will see it. Hanging it in a prominent place demonstrates to those who see it that you your loved one to be remembered, to be a part of your special holiday activities.

Supplies needed:

  • 1 toilet paper roll

  • scissors

  • hot glue gun

  • pens or markers (your choice)

  • embellishments (optional)

Watch from the beginning for more helpful hints about practicing healthy remembrance. Or, skip ahead - craft starts at 17:25 min.

Emily Thiroux Threat (my co-crafter in the video) is a wise and compassionate grief author and advocate. Her book, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, contains her stories of loss and survival through self-compassion and creative writing. You can get her book here and glean from all she has to say!

👉 Comment below: How did this activity go for you? What remembrance practices will you try this month?